Memories...ah.
Everyone has them, everyone else wants to experience them. Nothing in the world makes this transaction easier than the scrapbook. A time honored tradition, passed down from father to son, mother to daughter. In the middle ages scrapbooking was so revered by the people that a scrapbooker would be called in when no one could decide whose story was better. Ah, memories...
Actually, this wonder woman has no idea when scrapbooking started. All she knows is that it has become so in vogue as of late that there are literally STORES for the hobby. Books have been written on it. People write BOOKS on scrapbooking...do you know how long it takes to write a book? Much longer than an afternoon, that's for sure. Don't misunderstand, this wonder woman is not ragging on scrapbooking and its enthusiasts. It's just, well I don't get it.
You have pictures, and you put them in an album. That's great! It's a treasured piece of history that you can show to friends, family, so on and so forth. You add captions when necessary, to give your readers a little understanding of the whole module. I get it. But special stickers? Stamps? Little nick-nack things you buy at a store for the specific theme of your scrapbook? It's a little bit over the top, don't you think? What could that money be going toward? If you took the money that would have gone into specialized paper and gel pens for your scrapbook fix, and put it in a jar and saved for a rainy day, you might be able to use the money to create a new memory. I'm just saying. Money is tight, and this wonder woman is not spending it on specialty tape. It's going towards the memories.
Scrapbooking as we speak, WW
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Old Wives Tales
Don't be so quick to assume that this will be a silly/pointless guide.
(Nay sayers are never welcome at parties, just food for thought) Just because old wives came up with this junk doesn't mean it can be completely dismissed. In fact, it is always a little wise to have a handful of folklore in your back pocket just for the sake of conversation, let alone reaping the benefits. For example:
(Scoring based on this wonder woman's opinion. And let's face it, that's pretty much the best one there is)
Did you know when moving you should never bring your old broom with you? I think they get attached to the things they clean, not who cleans. Nothing personal, it's just the way of it. So please leave old brooms behind, and purchase new ones at your new residence.
Usefulness: 5/10
Fun Conversation: 6/10
Did you know when there is a red tint on the moon, trouble is a brewing? This is particularly true if you are a witch. Look out Glinda!
Usefulness: 4/10
Fun Conversation: 7/10
Did you know that when a black cat walks TOWARDS you it's good luck, and AWAY from it's bad luck? Guess they aren't so much unlucky as luck postman. Who knew?
Usefulness: 7/10
Fun Conversation: 7/10 (sevens a lucky number, get it?)
Did you know that a wonder woman can tell what kind of man she is marrying on Valentine's Day? Yup, sir, she can.
She sees a sparrow? A poor man
She sees a bluebird? A happy fella
She sees a blackbird? A church going kind of guy
She sees a goldfinch? CA-CHING! Millionaire!
She sees an owl? Bummer...spinster city
Usefulness: 10/10
Fun Conversation: 4/10 (I don't really know if this works for the lads, but it doesn't hurt to hope)
Did you know that acorns are tremendously good luck? If you wear one around your neck you're sure to do just dandy.
Usefulness: 8/10
Fun Conversation: 5/10
Finally, did you know that the color blue isn't just good for your skin tone? If you touch something blue and make a wish, it should come true! Also, if you wear a blue bead it will protect you against witches! Glinda won't be bothering this wonder woman.
Usefulness: 6/10
Fun Conversation: 5/10
Superstitiously yours, WW
(Nay sayers are never welcome at parties, just food for thought) Just because old wives came up with this junk doesn't mean it can be completely dismissed. In fact, it is always a little wise to have a handful of folklore in your back pocket just for the sake of conversation, let alone reaping the benefits. For example:
(Scoring based on this wonder woman's opinion. And let's face it, that's pretty much the best one there is)
Did you know when moving you should never bring your old broom with you? I think they get attached to the things they clean, not who cleans. Nothing personal, it's just the way of it. So please leave old brooms behind, and purchase new ones at your new residence.
Usefulness: 5/10
Fun Conversation: 6/10
Did you know when there is a red tint on the moon, trouble is a brewing? This is particularly true if you are a witch. Look out Glinda!
Usefulness: 4/10
Fun Conversation: 7/10
Did you know that when a black cat walks TOWARDS you it's good luck, and AWAY from it's bad luck? Guess they aren't so much unlucky as luck postman. Who knew?
Usefulness: 7/10
Fun Conversation: 7/10 (sevens a lucky number, get it?)
Did you know that a wonder woman can tell what kind of man she is marrying on Valentine's Day? Yup, sir, she can.
She sees a sparrow? A poor man
She sees a bluebird? A happy fella
She sees a blackbird? A church going kind of guy
She sees a goldfinch? CA-CHING! Millionaire!
She sees an owl? Bummer...spinster city
Usefulness: 10/10
Fun Conversation: 4/10 (I don't really know if this works for the lads, but it doesn't hurt to hope)
Did you know that acorns are tremendously good luck? If you wear one around your neck you're sure to do just dandy.
Usefulness: 8/10
Fun Conversation: 5/10
Finally, did you know that the color blue isn't just good for your skin tone? If you touch something blue and make a wish, it should come true! Also, if you wear a blue bead it will protect you against witches! Glinda won't be bothering this wonder woman.
Usefulness: 6/10
Fun Conversation: 5/10
Superstitiously yours, WW
Thursday, August 27, 2009
The Pool
I don't know about all you wonder women out there, but this one is HOT. And I'm not talkin' looks. The August heat wave has hit with full force, and seems is here to stay. There are a few ways to beat the heat: A/C (bad for the ozone), fans (just wish it was A/C), the beach (good looking people, sand gets everywhere...) or the pool. This wonder woman goes for the pool.
I choose the pool for a number of reasons:
1) Least amount of effort-If you have the option of a pool it's usually within walking distance, in your backyard, or at a friend's place. I've never heard of anyone who 'had to drive a bit' to get to the pool. It just doesn't happen. And when it's a BILLION degrees outside, the least amount of distance between you and some cool turquoise water is the most obvious choice.
2) More stuff options- You can't bring noodles to the beach. You can't. And you could bring your ipod, but it could get all sandy and then there goes your $200+ little walkmen (that's all they are, glorified walkmens). You also can't bring adult beverages to the beach, at least not where this wonder woman resides. If you go to a pool privately owned by a friend or yourself, beverages are never in short supply.
3) Water control- The mighty ocean cannot be tamed. It is a force to be feared and respected. Within its belly the great blue whale, the mighty kelp forests, tremendous amounts of fish, plants, mammals and poo all call home. Pools just have that little vacuum. And a thermometer. You cannot ask the great Pacific to be a few degrees warmer! You cannot bother the mighty Atlantic with whether its ph balance is fit for you fancy! With a pool, it's easy. Go with the pool.
4) The company- I suppose this is always the best selling point for me with pools: the people. At the beach you share the sands with hundreds of strangers, usually with their own obnoxious giant tents, tall chairs, coolers full of Capri Suns and giant beach balls. When you are at a pool, it is usually in the company of friends. Call me a softy, but this wonder woman likes to be with her peeps. And there stuff isn't half as annoying.
Seeking aquatic refuge, WW
I choose the pool for a number of reasons:
1) Least amount of effort-If you have the option of a pool it's usually within walking distance, in your backyard, or at a friend's place. I've never heard of anyone who 'had to drive a bit' to get to the pool. It just doesn't happen. And when it's a BILLION degrees outside, the least amount of distance between you and some cool turquoise water is the most obvious choice.
2) More stuff options- You can't bring noodles to the beach. You can't. And you could bring your ipod, but it could get all sandy and then there goes your $200+ little walkmen (that's all they are, glorified walkmens). You also can't bring adult beverages to the beach, at least not where this wonder woman resides. If you go to a pool privately owned by a friend or yourself, beverages are never in short supply.
3) Water control- The mighty ocean cannot be tamed. It is a force to be feared and respected. Within its belly the great blue whale, the mighty kelp forests, tremendous amounts of fish, plants, mammals and poo all call home. Pools just have that little vacuum. And a thermometer. You cannot ask the great Pacific to be a few degrees warmer! You cannot bother the mighty Atlantic with whether its ph balance is fit for you fancy! With a pool, it's easy. Go with the pool.
4) The company- I suppose this is always the best selling point for me with pools: the people. At the beach you share the sands with hundreds of strangers, usually with their own obnoxious giant tents, tall chairs, coolers full of Capri Suns and giant beach balls. When you are at a pool, it is usually in the company of friends. Call me a softy, but this wonder woman likes to be with her peeps. And there stuff isn't half as annoying.
Seeking aquatic refuge, WW
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Wonder Woman and Adventures in Blood Tests
They make you fast.
Fast.
As in you are not allowed to consume anything until said blood test is administered. This wonder woman can put up with a lot, but not eating, is NOT one of them. In fact, it has been brought to this wonder woman's attention on several occasions that eating is what makes her pleasant most of the time. Not eating causes her to spiral into a dark corner of her psyche, usually leading in short tempered spats, name calling, and generally un-wonderful behavior.
That being said, I did not eat anything for breakfast. I was good. I got up early, drove to the lab, and was one of the first through the door. One, being the key word. It seems that this wonder woman was not the only person hungry this morning due to fasting, and there was quite the line leading to the blood drawing room. I would say approximately 7-13 people were at that lab at 8:00am, all hungry, caffeine deprived and fussy. One woman in her workout clothes slammed down her insurance papers like a bat out of hell. One man kept yelling at his almost identical teenage sons as they waited outside. One woman came dressed to the nines in a long black dress, red lipstick and six inch heels with black pom poms in the front. Apparently she was going to a gala after getting her blood done. I just sat. Quiet and anxious. My stomach did the talking for me.
When my turn finally arrived I told the woman I hadn't had anything to eat or drink, just as I was instructed. Turns out water was not under that ruling. She quickly gave me paper cup after little paper cup of water, and poked me straight and true. Sadly, my blood was not as alert and cooperative as I was.
WARNING: For those of you wonder women/supermen out there who a tish on the squeamish side, please brace yourselves. This is gonna be good.
It dripped, dripped, dripped out of me. It was the slowest race I'd ever won. She made me squeeze a fist. She tied up my arm nice and tight. She made me hold a hot pack. Drip, drip, drip. She turned her sights on a new vein and poked the other arm. Drip, drip, drip. The deep red liquid was not in any hurry. However, the nurse was. She remarked on how cold I was, how much I had to drink, but nothing seemed to be the cause of my slowly trickling blood. Finally, after almost three times the amount of time it usually takes, my tubes were filled and I was free to go, a bandage firmly taped on each arm. I drove home like a mad woman, I could already taste the onion bagel waiting for me.
The cold she described has yet to fade. And I think I'll have another onion bagel...
Poked and prodded, WW
Fast.
As in you are not allowed to consume anything until said blood test is administered. This wonder woman can put up with a lot, but not eating, is NOT one of them. In fact, it has been brought to this wonder woman's attention on several occasions that eating is what makes her pleasant most of the time. Not eating causes her to spiral into a dark corner of her psyche, usually leading in short tempered spats, name calling, and generally un-wonderful behavior.
That being said, I did not eat anything for breakfast. I was good. I got up early, drove to the lab, and was one of the first through the door. One, being the key word. It seems that this wonder woman was not the only person hungry this morning due to fasting, and there was quite the line leading to the blood drawing room. I would say approximately 7-13 people were at that lab at 8:00am, all hungry, caffeine deprived and fussy. One woman in her workout clothes slammed down her insurance papers like a bat out of hell. One man kept yelling at his almost identical teenage sons as they waited outside. One woman came dressed to the nines in a long black dress, red lipstick and six inch heels with black pom poms in the front. Apparently she was going to a gala after getting her blood done. I just sat. Quiet and anxious. My stomach did the talking for me.
When my turn finally arrived I told the woman I hadn't had anything to eat or drink, just as I was instructed. Turns out water was not under that ruling. She quickly gave me paper cup after little paper cup of water, and poked me straight and true. Sadly, my blood was not as alert and cooperative as I was.
WARNING: For those of you wonder women/supermen out there who a tish on the squeamish side, please brace yourselves. This is gonna be good.
It dripped, dripped, dripped out of me. It was the slowest race I'd ever won. She made me squeeze a fist. She tied up my arm nice and tight. She made me hold a hot pack. Drip, drip, drip. She turned her sights on a new vein and poked the other arm. Drip, drip, drip. The deep red liquid was not in any hurry. However, the nurse was. She remarked on how cold I was, how much I had to drink, but nothing seemed to be the cause of my slowly trickling blood. Finally, after almost three times the amount of time it usually takes, my tubes were filled and I was free to go, a bandage firmly taped on each arm. I drove home like a mad woman, I could already taste the onion bagel waiting for me.
The cold she described has yet to fade. And I think I'll have another onion bagel...
Poked and prodded, WW
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Living on a Budget
Times are rough for us wonder women/supermen. Jobs are scarce and prices are still high. That is why we must live frugally, if not now then forever! It sounds more painful than it actually is, believe you me. Much like ripping off that band-aid, living on a budget will be beneficial to you in the end.
Invest in a library card. This isn't just to be frugal, this is to be smart. Libraries through out time have been the houses of the greatest works of thought known to our species. Literature, art, music, science, languages, all kept in these extraordinary buildings. The age old questions: Why are we here? What is our meaning? Are men really from Mars and women really from Venus?, all may be answered on the shelves of a library. So get a card! This wonder woman does not go to her public library without at least a large bag, knowing full well that she will fill it with the knowledge of the ages by they time she leaves.
Research the cheap hot spots. If you're knew to your new place of residence, ask a few locals about some good old cheap fun. Free bunco night at the local rec center might be fun and profitable if you end up at a gambling table. The local dollar stores always yields good buys that won't break your bank. Drive-in movie theaters are not only a great way to spend your evening, but you get two movies for the price of one. Also, never underestimate the power of happy hour.
Economize and reprioritize. Be honest, you've got stuff. This wonder woman has far too much. If you really are pressed for cash, hold a good old garage sale and sell some of the nick nacks, paddi wacks, and old dog bones you've got lying around the house. Don't try to earn back what you put into your old belongings though. Garage sale people are the kings and queens of bargain hunters, if it's prices over ten dollars you won't get a bite. You want to get rid of the stuff, the money is only a bonus.
Find a hobby. Too often we think to live wonderfully, we must be DOING something. DOING being code for SPENDING. Not true. If you've got a healthy hobby (I'm not talking weird stuff...you all know what I mean) you've got something to occupy your time for free. If your hobby has some sort of a price tag attached due to supplies, save up your loose change to fund it. Nothing is more fun than going to the Coin Star and cashing in. This wonder woman looks forward to it every time the change jar is full.
Thinking frugal, WW
Invest in a library card. This isn't just to be frugal, this is to be smart. Libraries through out time have been the houses of the greatest works of thought known to our species. Literature, art, music, science, languages, all kept in these extraordinary buildings. The age old questions: Why are we here? What is our meaning? Are men really from Mars and women really from Venus?, all may be answered on the shelves of a library. So get a card! This wonder woman does not go to her public library without at least a large bag, knowing full well that she will fill it with the knowledge of the ages by they time she leaves.
Research the cheap hot spots. If you're knew to your new place of residence, ask a few locals about some good old cheap fun. Free bunco night at the local rec center might be fun and profitable if you end up at a gambling table. The local dollar stores always yields good buys that won't break your bank. Drive-in movie theaters are not only a great way to spend your evening, but you get two movies for the price of one. Also, never underestimate the power of happy hour.
Economize and reprioritize. Be honest, you've got stuff. This wonder woman has far too much. If you really are pressed for cash, hold a good old garage sale and sell some of the nick nacks, paddi wacks, and old dog bones you've got lying around the house. Don't try to earn back what you put into your old belongings though. Garage sale people are the kings and queens of bargain hunters, if it's prices over ten dollars you won't get a bite. You want to get rid of the stuff, the money is only a bonus.
Find a hobby. Too often we think to live wonderfully, we must be DOING something. DOING being code for SPENDING. Not true. If you've got a healthy hobby (I'm not talking weird stuff...you all know what I mean) you've got something to occupy your time for free. If your hobby has some sort of a price tag attached due to supplies, save up your loose change to fund it. Nothing is more fun than going to the Coin Star and cashing in. This wonder woman looks forward to it every time the change jar is full.
Thinking frugal, WW
Monday, August 24, 2009
Going to Your Physician
We all have bodies with their own little quirks. They try to tell us how their day was, whether they're a Padres or Diamond Backs fan, if they are a Jennifer or an Angelina, if they enjoy a good stiff cup of coffee in the morning, or if what we're doing to them is royally screwing them over.
Insert Physician Here.
Doctors are like the translators of our bodies. They go to school/medical school for a million semesters to learn and understand the language of the body. They know what a broken heart sounds like, what an annoyed pancreas does, how your bones dance, so on and so forth. They get paid the big bucks to pay attention to stuff we wouldn't even dream of caring about. (Side Note: If one of you wonderful wonder women/ supermen out there is in the medical field, please ignore last said statement) That is why, in my humble opinion, we get so annoyed with them.
"It's my body! Why didn't it just tell me?!" Ah, alas. We simple folks only rarely hear the screaming whispers of our colons, the nagging of our epidermis, the hair splitting cries of our poor, poor feet. We need doctors and nurses to interpret. Simple as that. And that is why this wonder woman will, I will admit hesitantly, go do a blood test the day after tomorrow. And keep a food diary for the next week. AND fill out a symptoms questionnaire. Because this wonder woman knows she is not fluent in body language, and thus will let the tests speak for her.
(If it's a gluten allergy, I'll scream)
WW out
Insert Physician Here.
Doctors are like the translators of our bodies. They go to school/medical school for a million semesters to learn and understand the language of the body. They know what a broken heart sounds like, what an annoyed pancreas does, how your bones dance, so on and so forth. They get paid the big bucks to pay attention to stuff we wouldn't even dream of caring about. (Side Note: If one of you wonderful wonder women/ supermen out there is in the medical field, please ignore last said statement) That is why, in my humble opinion, we get so annoyed with them.
"It's my body! Why didn't it just tell me?!" Ah, alas. We simple folks only rarely hear the screaming whispers of our colons, the nagging of our epidermis, the hair splitting cries of our poor, poor feet. We need doctors and nurses to interpret. Simple as that. And that is why this wonder woman will, I will admit hesitantly, go do a blood test the day after tomorrow. And keep a food diary for the next week. AND fill out a symptoms questionnaire. Because this wonder woman knows she is not fluent in body language, and thus will let the tests speak for her.
(If it's a gluten allergy, I'll scream)
WW out
Friday, August 21, 2009
Weekends with No Dates
Ok, so let's be real for a second. There will be times in every wonder woman's life when there will be beautiful nights with twinkling stars and full moons and candles and romantic music and all that stuff and no lug to enjoy any of it with. When these times occur, please, do not be discouraged. It does not mean you are any less wonderful. It just means there is a shortage of supermen in your district, which you may have to take up with your local congressman. I, however, try not to get involved in local politics (hairy stuff).
When you have weekends with no dates, take advantage of this opportunity to do something wonderful for yourself. Read a book. Draw a picture. Take over a small nation for economical gain. Whatever strikes your fancy. Wonder women often forget to pamper themselves. It's a flaw of ours. We're givers by nature. When you share your superpowers all the time, you forget that they can also be used for shallow, self-absorbed reasons. This wonder woman often enjoys a good solid bubble bath, chocolate and Machiavelli's "The Prince" to tuck her in at night.
However, using your superpowers for selfish reasons should be a strictly "weekends with no dates" venture. Running around using superpowers selfishly everyday of the week would make you a supervillain, and thus no longer a wonder woman. We need more wonder women, not less. Proceed with caution and care. It is a fine line to dance. But dance it we shall. Because until there are some supermen around to hang out with, you've just got to be a little creative with your weekends.
Always, WW
When you have weekends with no dates, take advantage of this opportunity to do something wonderful for yourself. Read a book. Draw a picture. Take over a small nation for economical gain. Whatever strikes your fancy. Wonder women often forget to pamper themselves. It's a flaw of ours. We're givers by nature. When you share your superpowers all the time, you forget that they can also be used for shallow, self-absorbed reasons. This wonder woman often enjoys a good solid bubble bath, chocolate and Machiavelli's "The Prince" to tuck her in at night.
However, using your superpowers for selfish reasons should be a strictly "weekends with no dates" venture. Running around using superpowers selfishly everyday of the week would make you a supervillain, and thus no longer a wonder woman. We need more wonder women, not less. Proceed with caution and care. It is a fine line to dance. But dance it we shall. Because until there are some supermen around to hang out with, you've just got to be a little creative with your weekends.
Always, WW
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wonder Woman and Adventures in Interviewing (Part II)
Arose at 6:30am on the button. The alarm from this wonder woman's cell phone has become like the rooster to her farmer, and she welcomes it warmly. Shower had to be delayed slightly, due to a large amount of Comet and Soft Scrub left in the tub (this wonder woman's dog has IBS, and thus had a little accident last night, more details would be distasteful.), but was quickly fixed with a good spray down from shower. Clean and shiny by 6:43am. Hair was not washed to maximize time and efficiency. (Wonder women should never wash their hair everyday, it depletes the natural oils necessary for wonderful hair)
The dress situation was a road block. The previous evening new trousers had to be purchased. This wonder woman had gone up a size, and was not pleased about it. The 'fat pants' were thus flung on the floor of her room, still in the store bag and price tags on. This morning, upon putting them on a terrible and ironic thing occurred: They were too big. Flustered and flabbergasted at her own body's bad timing, this wonder woman tried on old non-fat pants. Still too small. Going back to the fat pants, she got help from a belt, gave her thighs the finger, and went about with the rest of the process.
After a quick bowl of cereal, (Honey Bunches of Oats, according to its box, has quite the history involving the mixing and meshing of several cereals by a CEO and his eighteen year old daughter. Fascinating stuff.) a little research was done online to get some background on this small food supplier she was interviewing for. What should these eyes see before them? Bacon. BACON. BACON! The company sells gourmet foods, its specialty? BACON! Bacon jerky, bacon strips, gourmet BACON!
What's wrong with this? Bacon is a lovely food that thousands of people enjoy in our country alone. Why such a sad face wonder woman? Because, this wonder woman is a veggie. Vegetarian. No red meat. No mammals. No exceptions. A cold sweat started to build up in her arm pits. Research time was over. So, grinding her teeth, prepared for the worst, this wonder woman got in her beat up car and drove to the predetermined Starbucks to meet Mr. Bacon...her possible future boss.
When all you know about someone is that they sell fine wines and bacon, you get a certain idea in your head about who and what they are, especially if you have a half hour drive to mull it over. I know all of you don't have thirty minutes to ponder this, but this wonder woman did. And did she come up with some whopper ideas. A wonder woman never gossips, so details will not be revealed. However, at 8:02am Mr. Bacon came into said Starbucks, shook wonder woman's hand, ordered a venti something, put approximately 4 packs of sugar and a half cup of milk, and picked up a hot ham sandwich. I held my breath.
Turns out Mr. Bacon knows his stuff. Told me about the business, the work I would do, how I could turn it into something paid. Publication was a word used A LOT. Who knows? This might be this wonder woman's next big break. She may even get wined and dined by fancy restaurants while she does it too...
Planning, WW.
The dress situation was a road block. The previous evening new trousers had to be purchased. This wonder woman had gone up a size, and was not pleased about it. The 'fat pants' were thus flung on the floor of her room, still in the store bag and price tags on. This morning, upon putting them on a terrible and ironic thing occurred: They were too big. Flustered and flabbergasted at her own body's bad timing, this wonder woman tried on old non-fat pants. Still too small. Going back to the fat pants, she got help from a belt, gave her thighs the finger, and went about with the rest of the process.
After a quick bowl of cereal, (Honey Bunches of Oats, according to its box, has quite the history involving the mixing and meshing of several cereals by a CEO and his eighteen year old daughter. Fascinating stuff.) a little research was done online to get some background on this small food supplier she was interviewing for. What should these eyes see before them? Bacon. BACON. BACON! The company sells gourmet foods, its specialty? BACON! Bacon jerky, bacon strips, gourmet BACON!
What's wrong with this? Bacon is a lovely food that thousands of people enjoy in our country alone. Why such a sad face wonder woman? Because, this wonder woman is a veggie. Vegetarian. No red meat. No mammals. No exceptions. A cold sweat started to build up in her arm pits. Research time was over. So, grinding her teeth, prepared for the worst, this wonder woman got in her beat up car and drove to the predetermined Starbucks to meet Mr. Bacon...her possible future boss.
When all you know about someone is that they sell fine wines and bacon, you get a certain idea in your head about who and what they are, especially if you have a half hour drive to mull it over. I know all of you don't have thirty minutes to ponder this, but this wonder woman did. And did she come up with some whopper ideas. A wonder woman never gossips, so details will not be revealed. However, at 8:02am Mr. Bacon came into said Starbucks, shook wonder woman's hand, ordered a venti something, put approximately 4 packs of sugar and a half cup of milk, and picked up a hot ham sandwich. I held my breath.
Turns out Mr. Bacon knows his stuff. Told me about the business, the work I would do, how I could turn it into something paid. Publication was a word used A LOT. Who knows? This might be this wonder woman's next big break. She may even get wined and dined by fancy restaurants while she does it too...
Planning, WW.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Wonder Woman and Adventures in Interviewing
The Setting: A Starbucks in a disclosed setting in small town America
The Purpose: A possible writing internship for a small vineyard in previously disclosed setting
The Action: Interview
The Dilemma: Zero salary offered.
All wonder women know a good offer when they see them. They are hard to miss. That's why they aren't around for long. A wonder woman sees it and jumps at the opportunity. (If you are in a situation that has no good offers, I give you full permission to blame a wonder woman.) Now, it's weeding out the bad offers wrapped in cute clothing that's more tricky.
For example, this wonder woman has an 8:00am interview tomorrow morning for an internship that sounds wonderful enough: I would be writing articles/reviews for food and wine for a local vineyard. Awesome? Yes. Catch? Yes. This position has no pay. And as we've all read in a previous issue, this slight detail defers my cure for Nesting Relapse. No pay means no savings, which means no place to call my own. Hmm...what is a wonder woman to do? Defer my own nest for the sake of the opportunity? Forsake the opportunity for some sweet digs?
Stayed tuned, this WW is on the verge of something
The Purpose: A possible writing internship for a small vineyard in previously disclosed setting
The Action: Interview
The Dilemma: Zero salary offered.
All wonder women know a good offer when they see them. They are hard to miss. That's why they aren't around for long. A wonder woman sees it and jumps at the opportunity. (If you are in a situation that has no good offers, I give you full permission to blame a wonder woman.) Now, it's weeding out the bad offers wrapped in cute clothing that's more tricky.
For example, this wonder woman has an 8:00am interview tomorrow morning for an internship that sounds wonderful enough: I would be writing articles/reviews for food and wine for a local vineyard. Awesome? Yes. Catch? Yes. This position has no pay. And as we've all read in a previous issue, this slight detail defers my cure for Nesting Relapse. No pay means no savings, which means no place to call my own. Hmm...what is a wonder woman to do? Defer my own nest for the sake of the opportunity? Forsake the opportunity for some sweet digs?
Stayed tuned, this WW is on the verge of something
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Day Trips
All wonder women should be getting out into the world and experiencing the awesome it has to hold. Day trips are a perfect way to achieve such awesome.
Try choosing a destination approximately 30 minutes-1.5 hours away from your place of residence. Hopefully this distance will get you in the 'road trip' spirit, but also get you someplace you have not seen. Go somewhere that sparks your wonderful interests. Museums, zoos, aquariums, are all nice places to start, but dig deeper and you can find a treasure trove of fabulous hot spots. Discount stores, truck stops, and tattoo shops are always full of interesting and fun people. If you tell them you're from out of town, all the better.
Be prepared. Wonder Woman always had her utilities, so should you. Keep the tank full and the tunes a rockin'. No one should every step foot out of the house without at least a twenty dollar bill in their pocket/wallet. You never know when or where you might see that perfect accessory or need to pay off a bookie. Bring snacks! All wonder women have a tendency to be cranky if they are not well fed. I find that a granola bar, Quaker by brand, tends to solve this little problem pronto. If you get bored easily, remember that sudoku is an anti-social game. Try to make activities something that the entire group can love enjoy. I am particularly fond of 'Celebrity' and random high fives with the right kind of people.
Above all, just have fun. Wonder Woman has to save the world every day, but even she deserves a day off. A day trip is the perfect chance to just let loose, be merry, and be smart.
WW
Try choosing a destination approximately 30 minutes-1.5 hours away from your place of residence. Hopefully this distance will get you in the 'road trip' spirit, but also get you someplace you have not seen. Go somewhere that sparks your wonderful interests. Museums, zoos, aquariums, are all nice places to start, but dig deeper and you can find a treasure trove of fabulous hot spots. Discount stores, truck stops, and tattoo shops are always full of interesting and fun people. If you tell them you're from out of town, all the better.
Be prepared. Wonder Woman always had her utilities, so should you. Keep the tank full and the tunes a rockin'. No one should every step foot out of the house without at least a twenty dollar bill in their pocket/wallet. You never know when or where you might see that perfect accessory or need to pay off a bookie. Bring snacks! All wonder women have a tendency to be cranky if they are not well fed. I find that a granola bar, Quaker by brand, tends to solve this little problem pronto. If you get bored easily, remember that sudoku is an anti-social game. Try to make activities something that the entire group can love enjoy. I am particularly fond of 'Celebrity' and random high fives with the right kind of people.
Above all, just have fun. Wonder Woman has to save the world every day, but even she deserves a day off. A day trip is the perfect chance to just let loose, be merry, and be smart.
WW
Monday, August 17, 2009
The Nesting Relapse (An Epidemic)
It is the natural order of the world for all young of any species to one day separate from their mothers and venture off into their world. Take birds as an example: The mother bird rests on top of her eggs for weeks on end, until the little buggers hatch. Then, she scurries around trying to find food for not only herself, but the half dozen little mouths she has waiting for her back at the nest. She sits on them when she isn't in pursuit of their next meal, sings to them to sooth them, keeps predators away, etc. She is what you might call a wonder mom. However, this wonder mom knows when the little ones are ready to jump into that world of adulthood, and will often times push her beloved babies right out of the nest. If they fly, they fly. If they don't...well. Getting a picture?
However, in the estranged order of the human world, something very odd is taking shape. While our parents and grandparents ventured off into the world to start their lives after college, we, the next generation, are returning to the nest. We packed up all our belongings, went to school, lived independent of mom and dad for four solid years, got our diplomas, and just when we thought we couldn't get more bitchin', we find ourselves in our childhood rooms surrounded by boxes. I call this the Nesting Relapse.
The Nesting Relapse is not new. It has existed for as long as there have been grown ups with a certain lack of flight, if you will. What makes this generation cause for concern is the gross amount of Nesting Relapse that is occuring. The economy is the major cause for this epidemic. How can you move on with your life if you have no job? No financial security? How can you move out into that sweet pad you always wanted if you've only got a jar full of change from the fourth grade and student loans keeping you up at night?
The sad fact is, this is when economic status become abundantly clear. Those who are experiencing Nesting Relapse at this very moment are probably the kids who went to college on scholarships out the wazoo. The ones in apartments living the high life might have mom and dad pick up the tab every now and again, helping them live the dream. Not that there's anything wrong with having mom and dad pitch in...but I ask: Is living on mom and dad's check not just another form of Nesting Relapse?
I, as a wonder woman, never wanted to accept the fact that I would experience Nesting Relapse. I wanted to be independent, harmonious with the natural order, impervious to the changing times, and get my own place. Unfortunately, my bank account states otherwise. Thus, I propose a recovery plan for my personal Nesting Relapse: get a job, save like hell, and GET OUT! As quick as I can. I don't care where I live, how bad is smells. I've lived in worse. I've lived in cabins where mice swim in toilets, I can handle a shabby roach apartment. So, to all you wonder women out there, I implore you to follow my solid, yet I'll be it oversimplified, plan. We are the cure to our own poison, so lets start by doing something about it.
WW out.
However, in the estranged order of the human world, something very odd is taking shape. While our parents and grandparents ventured off into the world to start their lives after college, we, the next generation, are returning to the nest. We packed up all our belongings, went to school, lived independent of mom and dad for four solid years, got our diplomas, and just when we thought we couldn't get more bitchin', we find ourselves in our childhood rooms surrounded by boxes. I call this the Nesting Relapse.
The Nesting Relapse is not new. It has existed for as long as there have been grown ups with a certain lack of flight, if you will. What makes this generation cause for concern is the gross amount of Nesting Relapse that is occuring. The economy is the major cause for this epidemic. How can you move on with your life if you have no job? No financial security? How can you move out into that sweet pad you always wanted if you've only got a jar full of change from the fourth grade and student loans keeping you up at night?
The sad fact is, this is when economic status become abundantly clear. Those who are experiencing Nesting Relapse at this very moment are probably the kids who went to college on scholarships out the wazoo. The ones in apartments living the high life might have mom and dad pick up the tab every now and again, helping them live the dream. Not that there's anything wrong with having mom and dad pitch in...but I ask: Is living on mom and dad's check not just another form of Nesting Relapse?
I, as a wonder woman, never wanted to accept the fact that I would experience Nesting Relapse. I wanted to be independent, harmonious with the natural order, impervious to the changing times, and get my own place. Unfortunately, my bank account states otherwise. Thus, I propose a recovery plan for my personal Nesting Relapse: get a job, save like hell, and GET OUT! As quick as I can. I don't care where I live, how bad is smells. I've lived in worse. I've lived in cabins where mice swim in toilets, I can handle a shabby roach apartment. So, to all you wonder women out there, I implore you to follow my solid, yet I'll be it oversimplified, plan. We are the cure to our own poison, so lets start by doing something about it.
WW out.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Introductions
First of all, I am NOT Wonder Woman.
I can't fit into a red white and blue swimming suit and look good. I don't have an invisible airplane. I am not from the Amazon. I don't have a truth lasso. Hell, I don't even have black hair. However, I do posses that lovely quality of wanting to seem better than I actually am, so I like to think I am a wonder woman. There are a lot of us out there. (You know who you are.) We have a little sparkle, a little flair, a little punch and passion that makes us stick out from the crowd. So, as of right now, I will speak as a wonder woman and will document my little adventures. Just because I don't have a comic book fashioned written and illustrated all about lovely me doesn't mean I don't have adventures. I have lots of adventures. Oodles. They may not involve super villains and gorgeous super heroes, but I've got stuff. Interesting stuff.
I hope you enjoy.
I can't fit into a red white and blue swimming suit and look good. I don't have an invisible airplane. I am not from the Amazon. I don't have a truth lasso. Hell, I don't even have black hair. However, I do posses that lovely quality of wanting to seem better than I actually am, so I like to think I am a wonder woman. There are a lot of us out there. (You know who you are.) We have a little sparkle, a little flair, a little punch and passion that makes us stick out from the crowd. So, as of right now, I will speak as a wonder woman and will document my little adventures. Just because I don't have a comic book fashioned written and illustrated all about lovely me doesn't mean I don't have adventures. I have lots of adventures. Oodles. They may not involve super villains and gorgeous super heroes, but I've got stuff. Interesting stuff.
I hope you enjoy.
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