HAPPY HALLOWEEN all you wonder women out there!! Tonight's that night, spooky winds, werewolves, vampires, and ghosts. It's so devilish you could just squeal! (Please don't)
Are there any of any of you GOING as our mentor this Halloween? Please, take photos for prosperity. (Wonder women like photos for prosperity).
Halloween is a fun holiday, let's face it. While Thanksgiving and Christmas and Hanukkah are mainly focused on family get-togethers and behaving nicely, Halloween is a night to be spent with friends, candy, and unmannerly behavior. What's more fun than that?! Plus the costumes really bring out the kid in everyone. Wonder women love costumes. It's a fact. Our namesake ran around in one. But besides all the fun perks, Halloween has a special history that might be fun to hear close to a roaring fire, no lights on, and after two or three scary movies.
All Hallows Eve was begun by the pagans (those zany pagans) as a ritual of betweens. It celebrating the end of spring (life) and the beginning of winter (death). The between time was believed so powerful that spirits could flow back and forth from their world to ours. There was no set date of All Hallows Eve, it was merely determined as the priests (druids) saw fit. So when you have neo-pagan friends telling you they celebrate Halloween as a religious holiday, throw THAT one in their face. Keeps them on their toes.
The spirit of Halloween simply wouldn't die. Ironic, yes. The Christian church tried time and time again to smash out Halloween as something evil and devil influenced. To be fair, there were no wonder women in the church in those days, so they wouldn't have been able to speak up for the sake of merriment and good times. So they continually frowned upon it. However, Halloween kept coming up with a vengeance. Pagans are hard to crack. So instead of destroy Halloween, Christians do what they do best, and assimilated Halloween into Christian ideas. Pretty tricky, huh?
At the turn of the last century was when the true fun was starting to be harvested from Halloween. Halloween parties and masks were introduced, and children ate it up. Halloween was purely a kid's holiday that grown ups liked to celebrate to please the little ankle biters. Eventually, wars broke out. They do that. Halloween got canned for the sake of money, and parents felt guilty and kids felt gypped. However, wars ended. They do that too. And in an odd twist, Halloween benefited the most. Halloween parties post-world war two were incredibly popular. Many scholars of culture studies believe the reason Halloween today is at such a high for popularity is because of the rich amount of love the baby boomers had for the holiday, and they simply can't let go. Neat, huh?
Stay tuned for more holiday season bits, and have an incredibly Happy Halloween, WW
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Going Gluten Free
I'm not going to lie to all of you wonder women and supermen out there. I wouldn't do it, it's just not in my nature. My nature is to tell the whole ugly, tasteless truth about it all and that's exactly what I'm about to do. Buckle your seat belts, this is reality ride and you are TOO SHORT to be on it!
Until the words "gluten allergy" became apart of my regular dietary vocabulary, I never really gave much thought to how much or little of the stuff I ate. If it was good I ate it. If it was easy I would eat it. If it was delicious but difficult it would wait till the weekend. Unfortunately as any gluten free person will tell you, being delicious and easy is just not attainable yet. Science hasn't caught up with us poor defectives. We have to make due with the expensive, specialty foods available. After living this way for approximately a month I have discovered a few tips to going gluten free if any of you are dying to purge your body of toxins, preservatives and/or calorie rich foods. I'm not going to say it's easy, I'm just trying to give you tips. I'm a wonder woman, I'm not God.
1) All gluten free baking mixes are DELICIOUS. Betty Crocker is definitely a wonder woman. She somehow captured the cupcakes, brownies, cookies and cakes in their natural state without adding wheat flour. It's a modern miracle.
2) All gluten free breads are terrible. Trust me. I have not had a single one worthy of eating. They are all very dry, which means they make relatively good toast. However, they are all pretty dense, meaning they have no business on a sandwich. I have yet to have a sandwich since going gluten free, a sad little testament to the times...
3) If you buy mixes of certain foods you absolutely love, make them on the weekends and freeze for the rest of the week. It's much easier to microwave up what you're craving than having to strenuously try and MAKE it while you've got the munchies. When you have the time, use it to your advantage.
4) You may experience odd side effects to going gluten free. I've heard everything from sleeping soundly to developing MORE food sensitivity. Be cautious and aware of how your body is reacting. Everyone is different, and for most this is a positive change. Just be aware.
5) When you can, BUY GLUTEN FREE DONUTS!
I don't know if this helps any of you out there, but it would have helped me had I known a month ago.
Desperately seeking flour, WW
Until the words "gluten allergy" became apart of my regular dietary vocabulary, I never really gave much thought to how much or little of the stuff I ate. If it was good I ate it. If it was easy I would eat it. If it was delicious but difficult it would wait till the weekend. Unfortunately as any gluten free person will tell you, being delicious and easy is just not attainable yet. Science hasn't caught up with us poor defectives. We have to make due with the expensive, specialty foods available. After living this way for approximately a month I have discovered a few tips to going gluten free if any of you are dying to purge your body of toxins, preservatives and/or calorie rich foods. I'm not going to say it's easy, I'm just trying to give you tips. I'm a wonder woman, I'm not God.
1) All gluten free baking mixes are DELICIOUS. Betty Crocker is definitely a wonder woman. She somehow captured the cupcakes, brownies, cookies and cakes in their natural state without adding wheat flour. It's a modern miracle.
2) All gluten free breads are terrible. Trust me. I have not had a single one worthy of eating. They are all very dry, which means they make relatively good toast. However, they are all pretty dense, meaning they have no business on a sandwich. I have yet to have a sandwich since going gluten free, a sad little testament to the times...
3) If you buy mixes of certain foods you absolutely love, make them on the weekends and freeze for the rest of the week. It's much easier to microwave up what you're craving than having to strenuously try and MAKE it while you've got the munchies. When you have the time, use it to your advantage.
4) You may experience odd side effects to going gluten free. I've heard everything from sleeping soundly to developing MORE food sensitivity. Be cautious and aware of how your body is reacting. Everyone is different, and for most this is a positive change. Just be aware.
5) When you can, BUY GLUTEN FREE DONUTS!
I don't know if this helps any of you out there, but it would have helped me had I known a month ago.
Desperately seeking flour, WW
Friday, October 23, 2009
Wonder Woman and Adventures in The Workforce (Part IV)
Wonderland is starting to run more smoothly. Things are settling and the wonderlanders are not so nervous about the currency exchange anymore. The holidays are on their way, and currencies usually bounce back then.
Meanwhile, the wonder woman, me, is given the responsibilities she was brought through the looking glass for! Emails, conference calls, messages, wheeling and dealing. Yes, this wonder woman was back in all her glory. Managing two large projects while making sales and helping those browsing Wonderland. But, too much of a good thing can always lead to disaster...
8 hours. 480 minutes. 45 emails. All those emails must be written individually because Wonderland has not updated software since the dark ages. Copy, past, send. Copy, past, send. Copy, paste, send...all copy and no paste makes this wonder woman wanna scream! But don't worry, I maintained my cool. I'm a wonder woman, not a serial killer. I kept my sanity with a few tried and true methods I've come up with over the years when isolated and bored:
1) Talk to myself
2) Make faces at the computer like it's a baby
3) Eat the free chocolate in the samples box
4) Have random drum solos with nothing but my index fingers and desk
Don't judge. I'm not crazy yet. And I still have my wonderful sense of humor
Making cross eyes, WW
Meanwhile, the wonder woman, me, is given the responsibilities she was brought through the looking glass for! Emails, conference calls, messages, wheeling and dealing. Yes, this wonder woman was back in all her glory. Managing two large projects while making sales and helping those browsing Wonderland. But, too much of a good thing can always lead to disaster...
8 hours. 480 minutes. 45 emails. All those emails must be written individually because Wonderland has not updated software since the dark ages. Copy, past, send. Copy, past, send. Copy, paste, send...all copy and no paste makes this wonder woman wanna scream! But don't worry, I maintained my cool. I'm a wonder woman, not a serial killer. I kept my sanity with a few tried and true methods I've come up with over the years when isolated and bored:
1) Talk to myself
2) Make faces at the computer like it's a baby
3) Eat the free chocolate in the samples box
4) Have random drum solos with nothing but my index fingers and desk
Don't judge. I'm not crazy yet. And I still have my wonderful sense of humor
Making cross eyes, WW
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The Holiday Season (Part I)
It's true. There is a change in the wind. A change that comes every year as the leaves turn and the merchandise in stores booms with twinkling lights and red and green tables. It's the holidays wonder women, a time that either brings cheer or fear for so many.
The holiday season comes in a series of large block holidays that most out in the cyber world celebrate. It begins with Halloween (apologies anti-pagans), followed by Thanksgiving (apologies native Indians of the United States), Hanukkah (apologies Seleucid ancestors), Christmas (apologies Chosen People), Kwanzaa (apologies non-candle sellers), and Ramadan (apologies caterers). But for the sake that time cannot allow this wonder woman to speak of ALL holidays in the holiday season in one simple guide, I will break down the season into parts.
Part I: Halloween
All Hallows Eve. Such a dark, creepy, fun time for all ages. It's when ghosts, goblins, vampires, witches and zombies can make a special appearance. And what a concept? Any person can dress up as a silly character, knock on a door, say the magic words, and voia la: treats. It does beg the question though:
What if they picked trick?
It's part of the deal, really. You ask: "Trick or treat", so obviously someone has the choice of picking trick. And it seems nobody has for such a long time that the candy corporations are making bank. So I wonder, do the little scamps who knock on your door and beg the question, are THEY prepared for the other option? Or are they in it just for the candy?
For the sake of science and understanding, I ask all of you wonder women out there to play a little trick of your own this Halloween. I ask that all of you demand a decent trick from the costumed moochers before giving them any treats. Qualifying tricks include: Penny behind the ear, card magic, an April Fool's, gymnastics, and any kind of disappearing act. You can be the judge about what kind of tricks justify treats. But remember the fun. Be safe. And don't be the stingy neighbor with toothbrushes, please.
Ghoulishly, WW
The holiday season comes in a series of large block holidays that most out in the cyber world celebrate. It begins with Halloween (apologies anti-pagans), followed by Thanksgiving (apologies native Indians of the United States), Hanukkah (apologies Seleucid ancestors), Christmas (apologies Chosen People), Kwanzaa (apologies non-candle sellers), and Ramadan (apologies caterers). But for the sake that time cannot allow this wonder woman to speak of ALL holidays in the holiday season in one simple guide, I will break down the season into parts.
Part I: Halloween
All Hallows Eve. Such a dark, creepy, fun time for all ages. It's when ghosts, goblins, vampires, witches and zombies can make a special appearance. And what a concept? Any person can dress up as a silly character, knock on a door, say the magic words, and voia la: treats. It does beg the question though:
What if they picked trick?
It's part of the deal, really. You ask: "Trick or treat", so obviously someone has the choice of picking trick. And it seems nobody has for such a long time that the candy corporations are making bank. So I wonder, do the little scamps who knock on your door and beg the question, are THEY prepared for the other option? Or are they in it just for the candy?
For the sake of science and understanding, I ask all of you wonder women out there to play a little trick of your own this Halloween. I ask that all of you demand a decent trick from the costumed moochers before giving them any treats. Qualifying tricks include: Penny behind the ear, card magic, an April Fool's, gymnastics, and any kind of disappearing act. You can be the judge about what kind of tricks justify treats. But remember the fun. Be safe. And don't be the stingy neighbor with toothbrushes, please.
Ghoulishly, WW
Friday, October 9, 2009
Hiatus
Dear Wonder Women and Supermen,
How do you say good bye to the one little spirit you always loved, and knew loved you unconditionally? It's hard. You cry. You have to remember to keep moving forward. The Guide may not be as daily this week as past, this wonder woman needs to say good bye to her side kick, a little pooch she loved so much and always ran to her with a smile.
WW
How do you say good bye to the one little spirit you always loved, and knew loved you unconditionally? It's hard. You cry. You have to remember to keep moving forward. The Guide may not be as daily this week as past, this wonder woman needs to say good bye to her side kick, a little pooch she loved so much and always ran to her with a smile.
WW
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Wonder Woman and Adventures in Test Taking
Have any of you ever walked into a entry with its perimeter completely surrounded by wonder women?! This wonder woman has...it can be quite the intimidation. But let me rewind and set the scene.
Things are not all wonderful in Wonderland. The pay is not so great, and the Duchess has been lopping off the hours like there's no tomorrow. So, like any wonder woman in this situation I took it upon myself to find something a little better. I'm not out for the stars or anything, just something a little better. Anyway, something a little better responded last Friday when this wonder woman received an email saying she had been selected as part of a job search to take an exam for an education position. All right! I responded promptly and was told to be at the exam no later than 12:15.
I arrive, at 12:14 (I am wonderful, after all) and walk through the glass doors with my head held high. When they open I see a huge board room entrance with every inch of perimeter covered in wonder women just like me waiting for the exam to begin. They were all ages, backgrounds, and I can only assume levels of wonder. All of them did have to have the same length of hair, which I found a little funny and laughed. Have you ever had one hundred plus wonderful eyes look at you at once...?
We were led to the board room, checked in with official photo ID, given our pencils and scantrons. We were told by the proctor that because of the high amount of applicants the only way to make it to the third round of 'interviews' was to score no less than 90% on the exam. I admit it, I gulped. Who knew public education had such high standards?
One hundred questions. Half in language arts, half in math, and a small amount in classroom management. One hour and ten minutes later I was walking out of that impressive group one test down and a little fearful. I was rusty on multiplying fractions. I didn't know there would be fractions. Even rustier on long multiplication turns out. I never knew how much I relied on calculators till I was denied one.
The results should be emailed to us this evening. Is this wonder woman in the top ten percent of her own kind?! Stay tuned, WW.
Things are not all wonderful in Wonderland. The pay is not so great, and the Duchess has been lopping off the hours like there's no tomorrow. So, like any wonder woman in this situation I took it upon myself to find something a little better. I'm not out for the stars or anything, just something a little better. Anyway, something a little better responded last Friday when this wonder woman received an email saying she had been selected as part of a job search to take an exam for an education position. All right! I responded promptly and was told to be at the exam no later than 12:15.
I arrive, at 12:14 (I am wonderful, after all) and walk through the glass doors with my head held high. When they open I see a huge board room entrance with every inch of perimeter covered in wonder women just like me waiting for the exam to begin. They were all ages, backgrounds, and I can only assume levels of wonder. All of them did have to have the same length of hair, which I found a little funny and laughed. Have you ever had one hundred plus wonderful eyes look at you at once...?
We were led to the board room, checked in with official photo ID, given our pencils and scantrons. We were told by the proctor that because of the high amount of applicants the only way to make it to the third round of 'interviews' was to score no less than 90% on the exam. I admit it, I gulped. Who knew public education had such high standards?
One hundred questions. Half in language arts, half in math, and a small amount in classroom management. One hour and ten minutes later I was walking out of that impressive group one test down and a little fearful. I was rusty on multiplying fractions. I didn't know there would be fractions. Even rustier on long multiplication turns out. I never knew how much I relied on calculators till I was denied one.
The results should be emailed to us this evening. Is this wonder woman in the top ten percent of her own kind?! Stay tuned, WW.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Gardening
This wonder woman enjoys being outside, and when the outside that surrounds her is overgrown, spider ridden and dead, she takes action. Today I spent the morning and afternoon pruning, sweeping, de-potting and generally maintaining the yards of my residence. It seems that the place had (forgive the pun) gone to pot.
Gardening can be one of the more rewarding past times. You are helping to maintain a natural world within your own. If you do your research of your own geographic location you can discover what plants attract beautiful wildlife and really create your own little ecosystem. Just be aware: there are some critters that can hurt your garden as much as help it!
If au natural isn't your thing when it comes to your yard, try something a little exotic! Eastern rock gardens are zen, simple and clean. Little to no plants to take care of, only the sweet sands and brush to create beautiful patterns and paths. Add a fountain, gong and shoots of bamboo and you have complete tranquility. Just don't let the dog run out there...but I suppose it's all about the journey, not the destination.
Not fancy enough? Try a full blown fairy garden. That's right, a fairy garden. (If you don't believe, please clap and shout "I do believe in fairies" several times before proceeding) Sprinkle some tulips in your garden for their houses, mushrooms for their shields, and ivy for their clothes. I'm not making this up! Search the world wide web for fairy garden recommendations, from the believable to the flat crazy. A word of caution: some fairy garden plants are poisonous to pets, so think before you plant.
Just remember: gardening is timeless. Many things swing in and out of fashion, but a beautiful yard always impresses.
Planting, WW.
Gardening can be one of the more rewarding past times. You are helping to maintain a natural world within your own. If you do your research of your own geographic location you can discover what plants attract beautiful wildlife and really create your own little ecosystem. Just be aware: there are some critters that can hurt your garden as much as help it!
If au natural isn't your thing when it comes to your yard, try something a little exotic! Eastern rock gardens are zen, simple and clean. Little to no plants to take care of, only the sweet sands and brush to create beautiful patterns and paths. Add a fountain, gong and shoots of bamboo and you have complete tranquility. Just don't let the dog run out there...but I suppose it's all about the journey, not the destination.
Not fancy enough? Try a full blown fairy garden. That's right, a fairy garden. (If you don't believe, please clap and shout "I do believe in fairies" several times before proceeding) Sprinkle some tulips in your garden for their houses, mushrooms for their shields, and ivy for their clothes. I'm not making this up! Search the world wide web for fairy garden recommendations, from the believable to the flat crazy. A word of caution: some fairy garden plants are poisonous to pets, so think before you plant.
Just remember: gardening is timeless. Many things swing in and out of fashion, but a beautiful yard always impresses.
Planting, WW.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Wonder Woman and Adventures with Birds
This wonder woman received an email on Friday evening about taking a test to qualify for a certain education job (it's comforting to know that you have to meet a certain intelligence to gain access to the education field). While I was working out the last little kinks in the details of the test time an echoing thud happened upon my window.
I looked, but didn't see anything in particular. I got back to my compi and was working out the details again. BLAM! Thud whacks again. I turned, this time quick enough, to see a brown bird sitting on a hanging potted plant. It looks at me, with this 'are you who I'm looking for?' kind of expression. It then proceeds to plow into the window.
After the first reaction of confusion and concern wore off, I noticed it looks at me again, annoyed that I didn't invite it in. It plows into the window again, and again! And again! That brown bird slammed into the window about ten times before it flew down to the ground and walked to the screen door, waiting to be invited in.
It's very strange having an appointment you didn't know you made. Especially with a species that by all logical sense doesn't make appointments. You don't know if you're being rude, or the other party is. Do you invite them in? Do you ignore them? I mean, I'm a wonder woman and I don't even know the protocol for something like this.
Needless to say, I didn't invite the brown bird in, despite its best efforts to make its appointment with me. It flew back up to the potted plant, smashed on the window a half a dozen times more, and then vanished in the autumn wind. I went back to my computer, and the world returned to the way it should.
Regretting missing an appointment, WW
I looked, but didn't see anything in particular. I got back to my compi and was working out the details again. BLAM! Thud whacks again. I turned, this time quick enough, to see a brown bird sitting on a hanging potted plant. It looks at me, with this 'are you who I'm looking for?' kind of expression. It then proceeds to plow into the window.
After the first reaction of confusion and concern wore off, I noticed it looks at me again, annoyed that I didn't invite it in. It plows into the window again, and again! And again! That brown bird slammed into the window about ten times before it flew down to the ground and walked to the screen door, waiting to be invited in.
It's very strange having an appointment you didn't know you made. Especially with a species that by all logical sense doesn't make appointments. You don't know if you're being rude, or the other party is. Do you invite them in? Do you ignore them? I mean, I'm a wonder woman and I don't even know the protocol for something like this.
Needless to say, I didn't invite the brown bird in, despite its best efforts to make its appointment with me. It flew back up to the potted plant, smashed on the window a half a dozen times more, and then vanished in the autumn wind. I went back to my computer, and the world returned to the way it should.
Regretting missing an appointment, WW
Friday, October 2, 2009
Free Days
Everybody knows just when things get so stupid you want to punch a kitten that's when Lady Fate decides to be nice and throw you a bone. I got mine this morning when a little voice mail told me I was not needed at work today, so I got another day to rest and restore my health.
But what do you do with a free day given to you by Fate? You can't just waste it...can you? Well, break down the logic. If this day was NOT given out as a freebee, you would'nt have done anything productive anyway, so you're really not losing any time, right? So why not take this free day as a time to enjoy the things you usually don't have time to enjoy: junk food, TV, trashy magazines and the all important reclining sofa. There is no need to be shy about it either, if you've got fat pants wear them. If you don't brush your teeth, nobody will ever know. Hell, this would be the perfect time to try on every item of clothing you own and bask in how wonderful you look in it.
Free days are a gift from God. A blessing. Treat them differently than other days. If you're slammed for time and you're given a free day it's a way for you to get caught up. If you haven't had a vacation day in weeks and along comes a free day it's the time to bust out the bunny slippers and mint chocolate chip. And if you've been sick for a week and get slammed with a free day it's time to count your blessings and recuperate another day.
Getting better, WW
But what do you do with a free day given to you by Fate? You can't just waste it...can you? Well, break down the logic. If this day was NOT given out as a freebee, you would'nt have done anything productive anyway, so you're really not losing any time, right? So why not take this free day as a time to enjoy the things you usually don't have time to enjoy: junk food, TV, trashy magazines and the all important reclining sofa. There is no need to be shy about it either, if you've got fat pants wear them. If you don't brush your teeth, nobody will ever know. Hell, this would be the perfect time to try on every item of clothing you own and bask in how wonderful you look in it.
Free days are a gift from God. A blessing. Treat them differently than other days. If you're slammed for time and you're given a free day it's a way for you to get caught up. If you haven't had a vacation day in weeks and along comes a free day it's the time to bust out the bunny slippers and mint chocolate chip. And if you've been sick for a week and get slammed with a free day it's time to count your blessings and recuperate another day.
Getting better, WW
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Wonder Woman and Adventures in Blood Tests (Part II)
The blood work is back. The results are in: this wonder woman has a kryptonite and it's gluten. No more baked goods, no more pasta; seems I've got to do my intestine a solid and hold back on the wheat. Funny how the one thing that never upset my poor little stomach was the one thing causing all the trouble. Another one of life's little ironies I suppose.
And another little irony? Just when you get your hopes up is when there is none left. Turns out the interviewing process for the Destiny Job has already begun. This wonder woman did not get a call. So here I am, sickly and still in Wonderland, with no more crumpets for my tea. As I've said before, when it rains it pours, and the wind has certainly changed that storm.
Under the umbrella, WW
And another little irony? Just when you get your hopes up is when there is none left. Turns out the interviewing process for the Destiny Job has already begun. This wonder woman did not get a call. So here I am, sickly and still in Wonderland, with no more crumpets for my tea. As I've said before, when it rains it pours, and the wind has certainly changed that storm.
Under the umbrella, WW
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