Accepting Your Wonderful Self

Acceptance.

I'll say it again. Acceptance. I won't be cliche and give you the Oxford dictionary definition. Acceptance is what it is; being ok with something/someone. It's really just that simple. So why is it the hardest thing to grasp?

People go into therapy for ages trying to find acceptance. They don't like the way they look. They don't like the way they act, they don't like themselves and can't get over it. I can't get over it sometimes either. You look at yourself in the mirror and think: "God in Heaven, what the hell is going on with me right now!" And then you scream and cut off all your hair and run naked in the streets shouting "Liberation NOW!!"

...well maybe not, but you get the idea. Acceptance is hard. It's hard, because it's hard to be ok with ourselves and/or our situations. It's hard because we want something else. We want to be prettier. We want to be sexier. We want to know more, have more experience, have a better house, a better job, a better life. We want better. I want better. I'll admit it. I want a lot more than I have right now. I wish I were more wonderful than I already am (greedy, yes...). It's normal to want better.

What separates the normal from the wonderful, is acceptance. Sorry. Accepting the person you see in the mirror is half the battle. You can't do better than who you already are. Who you are is blissful, happy, unique, great, and magnificent. Who you are is totally you. And once you know that, you won't need to go G.I. Jane and slightly paranoid in the streets to prove a point. That peace will already be there in that little place between your heart and your chest. The situation you're in, that's something you have the power to change.

Super power of acceptance...it's an uphill battle, but I'm getting there, a little bit everyday. I'm a wonder woman, not a saint. Don't expect any radical life altering swings in me just yet. But do expect a sprinkle of contentment. Because that's all I ever really want.

Smiling, WW

Losing Your Superpowers 3

The meditation is still keeping me grounded. I need it. Wonderland is still hostile, despite my passport and exportation papers for the near future. But I'm not done getting my powers back. Not by a long shot am I done. I'm still gathering them up bit by bit, one by one. And I am very surprised to say the next one to cross my path of reclaim was one of my greatest.

There is one thing that has always been my super emergency, hidden, not talked about, super power. I only use it when things get really, really bad and a complete turn around is necessary.

"But WW, it's been bad for a while!" you might say. "Why do you only bring this up now?!" I know, I know. You would think I would have pulled this one out of my back pocket as soon as someone said "fire!" in the theatre. But there is a catch to this power: it is uncontrollable.

What is this uncontrollable, great, super emergency power? My catch-fire drive. I used to have it in mounds only a year ago. I was driven to be the best, the greatest. And whenever I fell off my own personal course, something would catch my attention and light up that match again. It could be a book, a person, or even current events. But, this year, my drive went to the waste side. I never used it. It never caught fire. So I never got anything done for my own sake. Nothing.

That changed just this morning. One little sentence and a familiar stir in my chest and my heart catches me all a flame.

It's a little exhilarating. I forgot how fun it is to be a superhero...

On fire, WW

Losing Your Superpowers 2.5

With one power back, I started to work on getting another back. But this one took patient, quiet, and ease.

Calm. I needed to get my super inner calm back. Inner calm leads to inner peace, which leads to satisfaction. And I need some of that! So straight to the library I went, to do a little research on what all this inner peace business is really about.

I went to the religion, Buddhism section. Meditation is the key to enlightenment, right? Buddha sat under a tree meditating until he figured out the universe. And he did! Lucky duck. But according to his teaching, enlightenment isn't just for him, it's for everyone! We all can join the Buddha train. So I checked out a few books and bought a ticket to Buddha town.

Meditation is AMAZING. I highly recommend it. All you really need is a quiet place, a pillow, and yourself. Put the pillow under your rump, so when you sit cross-legged you are sitting a little higher up. Hold your dominant hand in your subordinate hand, resting them lightly in your lap. Then just focus on your breathing. Count. Count how many breaths you take in and out before a funny little thought pops in your head. Cast it off and start counting again.

Believe me, it takes time and practice to get to ten. Your ego, your thoughts, fight to get your attention. But when you are free of them, when nothing is getting between you and a free mind, it's a pretty stellar feeling.

I'm still claiming it, but I'm glad to say super inner calm is back! And I'm smiling again, which is nice. Good job meditation, you've done me a solid.


Namaste, WW

Wonder Woman and Adventures in the Workforce (Part IX PLUS! Getting Some Powers Back)

After my encounter with the little boy in the midst of war torn Wonderland, and contacting Neverland...much has transpired.

Neverland sent a message via fairy (which was pretty cool) notifying me that my application to be a Wonderful Wendy was accepted! I would be traveling by fairy dust and happy thoughts near the end of the summer season, when my year in Neverland would begin. Ecstatic, I jumped for joy in my big white rabbit feet.

Ah, but there's the rub.

I'm not a Wendy, not even really a wonder woman, but a stupid white rabbit. The ravages of war and Wonderland completely transformed me into a fuzzy rodent with a serious over-bite in a cheap polyester vest. I've lost all my super powers (see last post). And my wounds from the battlefield are really icky... I'm obviously in no shape to try and bust free of this wasteland.

But I have to! It's the only way to get to Neverland come the solstice, and the only way to get my powers back! Plus, I really want be my wonderful self once again. It's kind of nice being wonderful.

So I had to regroup. I had to remember what it means to be a wonder woman. How did I even get to be one? I had to remember before Wonderland...

Before Wonderland I was confident. I sat up straight and looked people in the eye, and yes, could tell them they were wrong. Now as a white rabbit, I cower in the face of others. To face the Red Queen, I would need to get my super confidence back.

And I did...by smiting the terrible jabberwock. I had nothing to help me, no sword, bow and arrow, or even a sling shot and bubble gum. Just me. But I knew this was the only way to get this power back: to be confident in myself that I could defeat it without any help. So I hid behind a wall of rubble, and waited for the jabberwock to come to me.

It took many days. But I waited patiently. It passed me by, twice, but I did not feel defeated. My time would come. And it did, only just today, when the jabberwock took a snooze in a cave; practically begging me to go after it. I jumped and (sparing the bloody, R rated gory details) killed the monster dead. My super confidence was returned in a wonderful bath of warm, glowing light.

I brought the head to the Red Queen. She smiled, and let me pass through the gates of Wonderland. She wished me well on the way out.

Still getting those powers back, WW

Losing Your Superpowers

Where do super powers come from? Every wonder woman has her own story of origin. Usually her powers are sung about in these tales. And usually, somewhere after becoming a wonder woman, she loses her powers...and has to find a way to get them back.

This year, wonder women, I have been stripped of my powers. I was just getting used to them too. I think storytellers call that conflict. You see, I was once a wonder woman of such power I could relay all of my good advice and adventures to all of you. I could spin a couple of words together and come up with something that sparkles. But these gray times have cast a shadow, and I am weakened from them.

No more rope of truth, no more invisible jet, not even those sweet bracelets that bullets bounce off of. Every power I once possessed are now gone. An empty memory has taken their place. I am just a plain jane. It's hard to adjust with plain janeness when you used to be a wonder woman. It was really fun. I had super powers for crying out loud!

But this is just the bottom. Every hero has a time when their powers are taken from them. Every hero has to rise up and claim them back. That's what makes them special. That's what makes them great.

(Gulp). I'm just really, really freaked out about where and what I have to do to get my powers back. I'm not as strong as I used to be, what with the powers and everything. Nobody said it would be easy; nobody said it would be hard either. But this wonder woman is digging out her old costume, and going out there to find her super powers. No matter where they are, I'll find them. No matter what it takes, I'm getting them back. Because I'm a wonder woman, and I'd feel pretty stupid in a silly costume with no super powers to back it up.

Searching, fighting, living, WW

Wonder Woman and Adventures in the Workforce (Part VIII)

There was a horrible war in Wonderland. The jabberwock ate most everyone, and those left were shell-shocked and violent. Not a lot of support, you could say...

But amidst being the Wonderland White Rabbit, and dodging the jabberwocky, this wonder woman saw a strange little boy sitting among the rubble. He couldn't have been more than ten, with ratty clothes and a funny little flute...
"You shouldn't be here," I advised him. "It's not safe to loiter here." He looked up at me and got a big smile on his face.
"I think you should head north," he said. "Second star to the right."
"I beg your pardon?" I said. (I'd gotten very uppity since being a White Rabbit. It comes with the job, you get used to it, and then you sorta fall into it.)
"North,"he repeated. "To Never Neverland." And then he trotted off back through the war zone, and out of Wonderland's gates, as if it were nothing at all. Weird kid.

I was a little confused by his message though. It was cryptic, and yet direct. I didn't quite know how to follow his instructions...
Low and behold, a light bulb! North isn't just north, it's up. And where has this wonder woman been that's up...MOUNTAINS! CAMP! What a revelation. Thanks little flute boy.

So on a day when the Red Queen forbid my presence, I call up said Neverland and reconnect. I am missed, and I am wanted. They need another Wendy to take care of all these lost boys! I put in my request to fill such a space. They are delighted.

Now all that I can do is sit, and wait...and watch the stars till morning.

Health Care

A historic thing happened today. Some people like it, and some people don't. That's totally fine. Every wonder woman has a right to her thoughtful opinions. But you cannot deny when you've lived in a time without precedence, and I think that time is now.

This moment in our country's history will be in the books. It will be with the New Deal, and with the rise and fall of American during the Great Depression. It's funny how history often repeats itself... There was a great depression, we're having one again now. From that depression came a slew of government funded aids that left some people furious and others grateful. And now...well you get the idea.

It isn't a cliche. History does repeat itself. So whether you are for or against our country's new stand on the health care system, you do have to remember that this has happened before. And we are living in noteworthy times.

Being a Tweener

Call me nostalgic, but lately the tug of tweenhood has been strong. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, a tweener is an adolescent, usually younger, between the ages of 11-15. The term comes from the phase between being a child and a teenager. It usually constitutes the unknown of teenage-hood, but with the innocence of childhood

During my tweenhood, I had a lot of distractions that were less than wonderful: large move from home, 3 new schools, bullies, hormones, and dying friendships and pets. It was an ugly little battlefield instead of the fun butterflies, horoscopes, and slumber party dish fests it's always made out to be.

So, since I have grown into quite the wonderful woman, I think that reliving tweenhood could be a healthy little experiment. Maybe instead of going to a club to booze it up and dance the night away, a fun party could be filling out Seventeen Magazine quizzes, trying every lip balm flavor money can buy, and then giving Bloody Mary a go at midnight. Or if the night is already full, try walking to the mall and scamming on cute boys in the food court instead of paying bills or writing papers. Letting go of all the "grown up" stuff, and embracing all the exhilarating things.

There is something magical about being a tweener that sometimes life snatches from us, before we even know it was special. Second chances aren't second rate, they just come next.

Reading Tiger Beat, WW

The Act of Being Beautiful

Today, being beautiful is more important than your IQ, your mental health, your physical health, or your qualifications. I'm sure a thousand people can argue against this, but let's face the music: Beauty is always in style.

The more important question is: what is beautiful? It seems that something that is this important to all of us would be easier to define. But, to this day, we still don't quite understand the mystique of beauty. Science says it's symmetry. Poets say it's grace. Feminists say it's confidence. As a wonder woman, I say it's a little bit of mystery.

You can't really equate to anyone why one person is more handsome than the person standing next to them. They just are. And it isn't just the "beautiful" people who are beautiful. Sometimes they're uglier than a bag of chum. But it's how they are, how they act, that makes them beautiful. And honestly, I don't know what is. But I know it when I see it. And I bet you do too.

Beauty is something. It's just not something that you can put in a box or the cover of a magazine and tell millions of women to "be" it. You have to discover the act of being beautiful. And don't ask this wonder woman how to discover it. That's like asking where the holy grail is, or who really shot JFK. The secret's out there, but it's better left a secret.

Being beautiful,WW

Relaxation

Sometimes it's necessary to simply close your eyes...and listen to the wind whisper.

It has stories to tell. If we are patient, we will hear them. If we are worthy, we will understand.

Music Diaries

Music is one of the few things that we all have in common. We all know the hit song playing on the radio as much as the stranger standing next to us. Whether you like it or not is a matter of opinion, but it's listened to. It's heard. Some people claim they can be whisked back in time just by hearing a song from a point in their life. A little time capsule sealed in song.

I think that all wonder women should keep a music diary. It's relatively easy, especially in this day in age. All you have to do is turn into the radio, listen, chart, and playlist. I myself have four running music diaries. Each one has a special significance. One is for songs that have special meaning for things happening in my life, listed chronologically. Another is just popular songs from the calendar year. Another is just free music I somehow came upon. Yours can be anything you like. I've even heard of music diaries going so far as being autobiographies, each song a symbol of each point in a person's life.

Imagine when you're 98 years old, and able to travel back to younger days just by a playlist? You can remember the good old days, and even share with your grandkids what a cool cat you were. You have the music to prove it. Suddenly saying "I was into them before they got popular" can be proven. "See, it's on the 2008 playlist. They didn't make it till 2009, 2010 easy."

Music has power, soul, and beauty. What better way to identify your life?

Tunzin', WW

Wonder Woman and Adventures with Emergency Situtations

Last time I was in Wonderland, I didn't leave in the usual fashion. I left in an emergency vehicle. No sirens, but plastic gloves, EMT kits and IV's were administered, used, and followed through. Instead of driving away into the sunset in my own vehicle, heading to my own humble abode, I was whisked away to a hospital with lots of wires, tubes, and gauze.

Blood was taken, tests, interviews, health insurance, and I was released in a few hours. But still, such an afternoon as this is set apart from others. It was decided that this wonder woman's kryptonite was a pinched nerve caused by sitting and then standing too quickly, blocking oxygen to the brain and causing a short black out episode. Keen.

And what kind of kindness does Wonderland bestow on this white rabbit? Their humble little middle man? A call to see what the fuss was all about, and then asked to come in early on my next shift to take a conference call. No bows. No ribbons. No hugs and kisses. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. After all, this is Wonderland, not a kid's story.

Reality checked, WW

Wonder Woman and Adventures in Oddjobs

Because of the bleak prospects in Wonderland, this wonder woman had to take the bull by the horns and make some mad money. But does a wonder woman put on her resume ALL of her past positions? Do employers want to know even your most strange and odd jobs?

Nanny/Child Professional-
Have a kid needs tending? Even the rowdy, grouchy, screaming, tyrant children aren't too much to handle. Have money ready by end of session. Will drive if gas is provided. Television is never on the play agenda.

Grader-
Attention Teachers! Don't have any spare time for yourself? Hand over a sample graded paper and leave it to me! Works by the hour. Will mark your way, their way, any way, but only in purple ink.

Composter-
Have the compost but no time to use it? This amateur gardener will shovel your crap anywhere you want it to go. Experience in composting, shoveling, making trash, and lovin' the great outdoors. Sunscreen and ice tea would be appreciated. No payment necessary for short jobs.

Merry Maid-
Houses are my speciality. I can get them ship shape, top to bottom. Bathrooms, windows, floors, kitchens, bedrooms are all done, and done right. Nothing is left but the sweet smell of a job well done. Pay by the hour, tips are not necessary.

Dog Walker-
All dogs love the wind in their face and the smells of their brethren around them. I'm just the woman to give them what they love and love doing it. I'll take them around the block, or up a mountain if they want it. Poo bags necessary, payment not.

Wonder Woman and Adventures in The Workforce (Part VII)

My days in Wonderland are numbered.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me explain...

Part of the great divide in this wonder woman's life is Wonderland. It's getting to be a veritable war zone down there. The jabberwock is loose and everyone is out for number one. People are fighting to stay alive. They are disappearing every day. Only the few and the brave are surviving. One of the good Wonderlanders was hacked off the chopping block just this last week, and one of its esteemed queens was shipped off to Neverland the week before that. It's not looking good.

Cue in me. Barely with my citizenship and striving to make a name for myself in Wonderland, I work hard and smile big. (It's the best way to get a queen's attention, when you smile big when you want to scream out loud.) I've become quite the white rabbit. Running around, busy as a bee, making appointments, keeping up with all the Wonderlanders. But even a white rabbit is expendable, especially if a jabberwock is hungry for rabbit stew...

My time in Wonderland is limited. I know it is. The Red Queen is only letting the few and proud old established Wonderlanders pass through the pearly gates. I'm only allowed to peak through the bushes of the croquet court, when I'm allowed at all. Times are hard in Wonderland. Very, very, hard. I can feel the breath of the jabberwock on my neck wonder women, I can smell it's breath. It's coming for me. It's waiting for the time when I'm late for a very important date, and that's when I'll smell it for the last time....

Running to the mercy of a pocket watch, WW

Ice Dancing

The Olympics are on. I've been watching them like most. And like most I am very displeased with all the goings on of the showcase. The television needs adjustment. A three and a half hour block starting at 8:00pm with splices of this and that scrambled together into an incoherent mish mosh is not Olympic coverage, it's a hot dish gone terribly wrong.

And from this veritable steaming mess a terrible, terrible forgotten evil of the world is brought back from its prison in the underworld: ice dancing. Ice dancing has been covered so intensely this round of Olympics that I now know the sport. I make it a point to be wonderful, not cheesey. And that's just what ice dancing is wonder women, the cheesiest piece of work you'll ever see prancing on the frozen pond.

The costumes are all bad. Sequins never went out of style for these dancers. Their attitudes and "theatrics" rival any telanovella, and their interpersonal relationships are just as scandalous. But really, when it comes down to it, it's the dancing. On ice.
And I do mean dancing, because unlike figure skating (which requires athletic ability) ice dancing has no jumps, spins, twists, or really even turns. It's just dancing. On ice. Picture the great "Dancing with the Stars" but on ice, and that's all this sport has to offer.

Forgive me for being blunt and ignorant, but is this really an Olympic event? Even snowboarding has athleticism involved. But ice dancing? Really? And why is it after so many years of being shielded from its horrors has Olympic coverage released this beast? Sometime they're going to have to gather it up and reign that savage creature in. I just don't want to be around to watch the skates fly. Because there's no bigger diva, than the ice dancer.

Leave the theatrics in the theatre. This is the Olympics. Let's reward athletes, not entertainers.

Stewing, WW

Dogs Vs. Cats

Why has their always been a war between dogs and cats? Is it a blood feud? Do we have to take a side? I've seen dogs and cats live together and they don't seem to have major issues, just regular roommate stuff.

So why do we have to be cat people, or dog people? As a wonder woman, I refuse to take a side. Not because it's unbiased, but because I think it's silly. I refuse to think that all people can be lumped into one of two categories: cat person, dog person. It's ridiculous. If you like dogs, then you like them. You don't have to love hiking along the coastline with 80 pound packs on. And if you like cats, then that's fine too. It doesn't mean you're a virginal shut-in who reads Charlotte Bronte by candlelight.

Cats and dogs are good people. Just keep their company and you'll turn out wonderful. (It's the bird people that are really the one's to watch out for)

Enjoying the animal world, WW

Vampires

I am tired of vampires.

I am tired of their icky pasty skin and their creepy need to be with their beloved. I'm tired of their immortality and rubbing it in everyone's face. Hey buddy, I don't care if you've lived 109 years and are mopey, that's your problem, mmk? I'm tired of their terrible teeth. Get to an orthodontist, I don't need to see your heinous mouth until its fixed. I'm tired of their long hair and nails, and weird colored eyes. That's not pretty. It's just bad hygiene. I'm tired of them living with other vampires and forming creepy little "covens" or "families" or "companions". Wanna know you are Lifetime movie bound? You call your roommates your "family".

And I am tired of vampires being EVERYWHERE! They're like the new beanie baby or something! What does this say about the modern young woman if she wants a potential bloodsucking murderer as a mate?! Can you say "self-esteem issues?", cause I can smell um. Let's be real wonder women, and go for the living? Yes? Because really, all a vampire is, is a zombie who can carry on a conversation. And aren't there survival guides out all about how to AVOID zombies?

Yeah. Pass on the vampire phase.

Living and breathing, WW

Men & Guessing

I read something recently that I think is good advice for any woman in the world. It was something to the effect of "...you know if he likes you, and when he doesn't he's 'confusing'". They're right. The one's that want you never seem to give up. The one's that don't see you the way you wish leave you guessing, longing, wanting, etc. etc. It's all very creepy and "Gone with the Wind" esq. Not that there's anything wrong with unrequited love, it's just something that I think wonder women should try to stay away from.

When your love is unrequited, it means that you're putting forth all this time and attention on something that's never going to happen. Meanwhile Mr. So Cute is standing two feet from you and trying to get your attention. It's so sad. Really. And a wonder woman should always be the kind of gal who can see what isn't good for her as much as she can she what is good for her. Wasting your wonderful time, attention, beauty, and charisma on Mr. Eh... is just inefficient.

So really, take that honest but true advice. You'll know when he's got a kudie crush on you. You'll know when he doesn't, because he isn't trying to show you. Simplify yourselves and trim some of the excess fat, the fat being Mr. Confusing.

Cutting out the lipids, WW

One Liners

One liners are those little quips in movies or TV shows that can be pulled out of your back pocket and used like a joke. They can also be a good feeler for the kind of people you're with. If someone catches your reference, a friend or love connection may be in the making. If they look at you and blink, then they obviously aren't cool enough to hang out with you.

But I think, in my humble opinion, that the best one liners are the ones that don't come from movies or TV shows. They come from everyday conversations. You're own personal one liners. True, they can be odd when out of context, but they're still just as good as anything written by someone you've never met. Below are a few of my personal favorite one liners by me, a wonder woman, and wonder women in my life. I dedicate this to them.

"Just wave and smile, that freaks people out."

"That doberman pincher just got punched in the face!!"

"GET BACK HERE AND WATCH TODDLERS AND TIARAS WITH ME!"

"Are there beaches in the mountains?"

"For cereal."

"They had rage at Target. Lots of rage."

"I don't have anything to contribute, I don't know anything about digestion. My poop is black."


Laughing, WW

Wonder Woman on Hiatus...Oops

Dear Wonder Women of the World,

I must apologize. I have been unfair to you. It seems that bumps in the road have inhibited me from keeping the Guide up. This was wrong. Nothing keeps a Wonder Woman from doing a job worth doing. And this Guide to the ups and downs, the pitfalls and push ups, the miseries and joys of a wonder woman's life and times, well, it's worth doing. I will try my best not to let it happen again.

As for an update in this wonder woman's life, let's let the silence speak for itself. No point in digging up long dead and rotting memories for the sake of novelty. We'll start fresh and new with this the Chinese New Year, only days ago. It's the year of the Tiger wonder women! And this Wonder Woman, she was born in the year of the Tiger. Time to pull out your stripes and claws, cause it's going to be a wild ride.

Baring her teeth to the world, WW