The Nesting Relapse (An Epidemic)

It is the natural order of the world for all young of any species to one day separate from their mothers and venture off into their world. Take birds as an example: The mother bird rests on top of her eggs for weeks on end, until the little buggers hatch. Then, she scurries around trying to find food for not only herself, but the half dozen little mouths she has waiting for her back at the nest. She sits on them when she isn't in pursuit of their next meal, sings to them to sooth them, keeps predators away, etc. She is what you might call a wonder mom. However, this wonder mom knows when the little ones are ready to jump into that world of adulthood, and will often times push her beloved babies right out of the nest. If they fly, they fly. If they don't...well. Getting a picture?

However, in the estranged order of the human world, something very odd is taking shape. While our parents and grandparents ventured off into the world to start their lives after college, we, the next generation, are returning to the nest. We packed up all our belongings, went to school, lived independent of mom and dad for four solid years, got our diplomas, and just when we thought we couldn't get more bitchin', we find ourselves in our childhood rooms surrounded by boxes. I call this the Nesting Relapse.

The Nesting Relapse is not new. It has existed for as long as there have been grown ups with a certain lack of flight, if you will. What makes this generation cause for concern is the gross amount of Nesting Relapse that is occuring. The economy is the major cause for this epidemic. How can you move on with your life if you have no job? No financial security? How can you move out into that sweet pad you always wanted if you've only got a jar full of change from the fourth grade and student loans keeping you up at night?

The sad fact is, this is when economic status become abundantly clear. Those who are experiencing Nesting Relapse at this very moment are probably the kids who went to college on scholarships out the wazoo. The ones in apartments living the high life might have mom and dad pick up the tab every now and again, helping them live the dream. Not that there's anything wrong with having mom and dad pitch in...but I ask: Is living on mom and dad's check not just another form of Nesting Relapse?

I, as a wonder woman, never wanted to accept the fact that I would experience Nesting Relapse. I wanted to be independent, harmonious with the natural order, impervious to the changing times, and get my own place. Unfortunately, my bank account states otherwise. Thus, I propose a recovery plan for my personal Nesting Relapse: get a job, save like hell, and GET OUT! As quick as I can. I don't care where I live, how bad is smells. I've lived in worse. I've lived in cabins where mice swim in toilets, I can handle a shabby roach apartment. So, to all you wonder women out there, I implore you to follow my solid, yet I'll be it oversimplified, plan. We are the cure to our own poison, so lets start by doing something about it.

WW out.